Starting over
We sometimes experience life-altering changes, some of which may feel as though we may not make it back. However, there have been people before us and people after us who have experienced and may have experienced what we may have gone through similarly. Let's say you are going through a divorce. There are so many emotions and changes that come with loss and grief. Remember that family that you gained? They may become distant until you become strangers. Remember the friends you gained? They may become strangers and at times people that may not want to be friends with you anymore or they may remain the people you need the most. You may even become closer. However, there is one feeling that most may feel and that is loneliness. You ever go through something so big and you isolate yourself because healing, managing, and surviving through such a big change takes a lot out of you. There are times when you may feel like a burden to people and that you do not want to be surrounded by people who may pity you. Another feeling could be shame, feeling like we disappointed ourselves, family, friends, and even society. That is what I call invisible personal responsibility. There are times when we shame ourselves because of the assumption of how we are perceived by others. "They might think I am a failure because I lost my job" or "I am not good enough to love because I got a divorce". This is negative self-talk but also if we take away what we may think other people may feel about us the less we worry about how we are perceived. Focusing on yourself and how you feel and perceive yourself is what is the most important. Working on how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself is what is important. As a therapist I help support people on their healing journey to see a different perspective of themselves. I like to list resources that can help people. A book I purchase that helps with recovering from grief or loss are:
The ABCs of Self-Love by Melody Godfred The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W.James and Russell Fridman Lastly, you can find a therapist that can help support you. I always suggest trying Psychologytoday to help you find a therapist that best fits you. Give yourself grace and compassion. -T